Understanding Harmony in the Human Relationship

Every human being is born in a family and is part of a family. The family is the basic unit or
building block of human organization. It provides a base for appreciating, accepting,
understanding and practicing to live in relationship and harmony (order).


Feeling of Relationship as the Basis for Harmony in the Family
The harmony in the family has primarily to do with the fulfilment of relationship between one
human being and the other human being. In order to fulfil relationship, it is necessary to
understand relationship.
Understanding Relationship
We will now explore into the four important aspects of relationship:
1. Relationship is – between one Self (I1) and another Self (I2)
2. There are feelings in relationship – in one Self (I1) for the other Self (I2)
3. These feelings can be recognised – they are definite
4. The fulfilment of these feelings and their right evaluation lead to mutual happiness

1. Relationship is – between one Self (I1) and another Self (I2)
Relationship is already there. We do not have to construct or create relationship. All we need
to do is to understand relationship and fulfil it.
Relationship is between one Self and the other Self. It is the Self which is recognizing the
relationship, and not the Body. It is the Self which relates to the other, and not the Body.

2. There are feelings in relationship – in one Self (I1) for the other Self (I2)
The important issue in human relationship is that of the feelings. We can see that feelings are
in the Self, not in the Body. It is the Self which has the feelings and which recognises the
feelings. To understand relationship, one has to understand the Self and the naturally acceptable
feelings in the Self.

3. These feelings can be recognized – they are definite
These feelings can be recognized, they are definite. There are nine feelings in relationship.
These are the feelings which we can understand, which we can ensure within ourselves, which
we can share with others and thus ensure mutual fulfilment in relationship. These are the
feelings which are naturally acceptable to us in the relationship with the other human being.
Feelings (values) in relationship:
1. Trust
2. Respect
3. Care
4. Affection
5. Reverence
6. Guidance
7. Glory
8. Gratitude
9. Love (complete value)

4. Fulfilment of feelings in relationship and their evaluation leads to mutual happiness
When we have these naturally acceptable feelings in the Self, we share them with the other and
when we are both able to evaluate the feelings rightly, it leads to mutual happiness, i.e. the
happiness of oneself as well as the happiness of the other.

Appraisal of the Current Status
The problem today is that we assume ourselves to be the Body and we assume the relationship
on the basis of the Body (and not the feelings). We, therefore, fail to understand relationship
and consequently, we fail to fulfil it, despite all our good intentions. The problems are due to
absence of one or more of the right feelings in the Self. And we try to make up this gap by
physical facility or by trying to demand these feelings from others, rather than ensuring these
feelings in ourselves and sharing it with others.